I moved cities, changed jobs, left my friends, left my church family, am helping start a new church, and have had my world totally rocked. I never in any part of my mind expected that this move would be anything like it has been. Difficult and challenging? Yes. Sad and tearful? Yes. Lonely? Yes. Has it brought me to my knees? Absolutely. And I am becoming more and more thankful for that as the days go by.
I was living in a comfort zone in Tallahassee. I'd been there for 10 years, I had my friends, I had my church, I had a job that I'd been at for a few years and everyone liked me. In all honesty, I had never faced too much opposition in any area of my life. Things were 'good' in the eyes of most people. Underneath my comfort, I knew that something was missing. God did not design that time of my life to last forever. It lasted for exactly as long as it should have- I truly believe that. There are people I met, experiences I was given, and events that took place that prepared me for where I am today.
So yes- this change has been excruciatingly difficult at times, but it has been exactly God's plan every step of the way. He has not been surprised by any of it, nor will He ever be surprised. If only I could remember that in every moment. 2010 is rapidly approaching and I am ready for the ride.
I'm gonna give this whole blogging thing another try...for my own sake more than anything else. Writing tends to help me process my thoughts. So if for no other reason than to have a reminder of things that have past...I will make an attempt. No promises!
So, while driving back to Tallahassee after Spring Break, I started thinking. I've been wanting change for awhile, and praying about what that might look like. Trusting God with my frustrations, desires, and ultimately my life, I began to pray that He would speak His will to me. Show me.
Through the course of thinking about several different events at my job and in my personal life, I came to the conclusion that I am no more secure in my current job than I am anywhere else. I also really felt like God was wanting to stretch me and grow me. This always involves change. I was ready, so I began praying about applying for jobs in other cities. Problem was, I wasn't convinced of which cities...until the next day.
At church, I overheard a friend talking with another friend and I jumped into the conversation on an assumption (definitely not recommending this...just being honest). Long story short, this friend and his wife were planning a church plant in Tampa, FL and were moving Summer 2009. My mind began churning and I asked if he wanted to take me with them. He said yes. Stunned, I immediately started thinking of what that entailed and how it would look. Within seconds, I was ready to go. God had given an immediate peace and confirmation that this is what He had been preparing me for. For a LONG time, people. I was ready, and I started sending e-mails that night about applying for jobs. The economy is not encouraging. The job market is less than hopeful. I was wondering if this was something that would work out, but I knew that my God is bigger than all of that. So I continued to pursue options.
The conversation at church happened on April 5. On April 13, I heard back about a job with the school district Tampa is in. I sent an application that night. On April 14, I got a confirmation e-mail and on April 16 my interview was formally scheduled for May 15. I spent a month preparing and praying. The interview came and went very well. On May 26 I was given a verbal job offer and it was confirmed the next week. From start to finish, the process took less than two months and was laid out every step of the way. Did it take faith? Absolutely. Can I offer any explanation about the situation except that God is sovereign and in control? Absolutely not.
I am beyond excited, sad, scared, and hopeful all at the same time. God is authoring a great adventure in my life and I am thrilled to see where this ride takes me. I know the One taking me, and that is all I need to know!
After we returned from our trip to NYC, I slept for a few hours and headed to my parents house to spend several days with them and my brother and his family. I absolutely adore my nephews and got to spend good time with them!
We played some shuffleboard, or as our family likes to call it, "Pucker."
After that, it was time to jump in the pool and cool off!
The next day, we headed down to the beach for some fun in the waves and I experimented with my camera. I LOVE some of these shots of my boys!
Then we have Brayden, the model. (Really, I think this was a look of annoyance that I was taking yet ANOTHER picture. He was waiting on the appliance delivery man to bring the new oven. Or as he liked to call it, the new grill cooker.)
All too soon, it was time to head back to Tallahassee. I miss these boys sooo much! But wait- VERY soon after I got back to Tally there was some news that would change life as I know it...
I know you're all thinking this is about Pace Picante Sauce ('This stuff's made in...New York City?!) but no, it's not. Sorry. It's actually about a fantastic Girls Weekend I went on with three of my good friends from work. Lauren, Alicia, Christine and I planned a trip to see the sights in NYC and spend some good quality time together.
We went to a nice little Italian restaurant before we went to see Wicked.All in all, this was definitely my favorite part of the trip. I LOVE that show and highly recommend it!
Ferry to the................................................Statue of Liberty!!! Outside Gershwin Theatre
Perhaps one of the funniest moments of our trip was this man on the street. Yes, he is in all pink. Shirt, Pants, Jacket (it was furry), hat, sunglasses, and his shoes! Of course I took this picture from quite a ways off and used my handy zoom feature. Priceless!
Good Grief! Where has time gone? So much for attempting to update the blog regularly. No such promises this time, but we'll see what happens!
Just because it's been so long, I'll start from where I left off and hopefully after a few updates we'll be caught up and ready to roll. Or bump along. Whichever the case may be.
So, for Valentine's Day this year, we decided to have a single ladies party and celebrate our friendships! Here are a few highlights of the night:
We made Valentine bags like we used to in elementary school and everybody brought Valentine cards for each other! Mallory, Jessica, and Afrika working on making some homemade cards while we ate food!
Opening the Valentine's Day cards and sharing with each other. The homemade cards were hysterical.
So tonight I treated myself to a root beer float. I had an intense craving, people...and I mean intense. I digress. As I was beginning to enjoy it, I had a sudden flashback to my childhood. My dad used to make my brother and I root beer floats. He would artfully pour the drink in over the ice cream just right so it made the perfect amount of foam. I would use my spoon to get the foam off, and then get two bites with the ice cream. After that, I would stir and stir until I blended it all together. And then...then I would pretend that it was my medicine. I would drink it by teaspoonfuls and pretend that it was a healing liquid for whatever ailment I came up with at the time.
So after having this memory, I started laughing just thinking about it. But then...I did it again for old time's sake. Weird? Oh yeah. Did I enjoy it? Absolutely.
So, it is the night before the "dreaded" return to work (at least for most of those of us who work in public education). Vacation is over. Christmas has come and gone. The decorations are down, the festivities are through, and we all probably weigh a "slight bit" more than when we started. But I have to say, during a season when many people miss the 'magic' and fun of Christmas- I am more excited and hopeful about life than ever before. I am filled with awe and wonder at what God is capable of doing this year. A new season, a new time, a refreshing. My prayer is that this would not only happen once a year, but every single day. I want more of God in my life. Nothing else compares- not even in the slightest.
Great book. Great movie. Have tissues ready...lots of them. Especially if you have ever loved a dog. Or had a dog. Or known a dog. Or looked at a dog. Or really if you have a sentimental side at all. Even this girl cried, and she couldn't remember the last time she cried in a movie. All that said, it is a very clean, very real book and movie- I recommend it.
So, a few years ago I bought my dad a fondue pot for Christmas. Since then, it has become a tradition for our family to have cheese and chocolate fondue on New Year's Eve, along with sparkling cider. My nephews participated last year and were SO excited to come back and do it again. Well, the evening came and my brother went to leave his house with the boys. They started running around the truck and had an unfortunate incident in which Brad's mouth hit the side of Brayden's head. As you can imagine, lots of blood was involved. However, the bigger worry (of the boys) was that they would not be able to come for fondue. So come they did, with Brad's lip the size of Texas. Poor guy looked wiped out and like he didn't feel so great. But he got fondue, so all was well with the world. Here are some pictures of the event (and please excuse his poor lip!)
Hope everyone's New Year got off to a bright start, full of hope and family and the things that truly matter.
Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself. C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
Lord, make me new. Change me and grow me into your will. I may not know what that is, but I want it more than anything else. I am committed. That is my One Little Word 2009. Check out the link for inspiration and an explanation.
Too many posts without pictures. Well, only two- but I say that's too many! So here are a few shots I've gotten over the past couple of weeks...
Who wouldn't want to visit kids like these? I love getting to spend time with my nephews! They are growing up WAY too fast. And they bring a whole new meaning to "Kids say the darnedest things." This guy, who is 7, announced today that Grandma and Papa have way too many beavers in their yard. After laughing, he was asked to clarify. "You know, because their yard has all those dirt piles in it- from the beavers." Or moles. Take your pick, I suppose.
While playing a game of Cranium Cadoo, this little guy tries to read the answers for us. (Keep in mind he doesn't know how to read yet.) After he held a card for a few seconds, he put it in the box and said, "Yup, you were right." Papa then asks him, "What did it say on the card? Can you read it for us?" The little guy freezes, and says, "Nope, I just already read it in my head." Wouldn't we like to know what he read?
Christmas was quite the day. My grandma came to visit, and we went to my brother's house for brunch and presents with the kids. My parents and I bought them a family present...none other than a Wii! And boy, did we enjoy playing! Then back home for naps, more presents, dinner, and playing cards. I enjoyed the day and felt blessed by my family and friends.
Not the best picture in the world, but it is the one time of year we ever attempt a family picture! The boys beginning the presents with their stockings...which only had a bag of coal! However, apparently the joke was on us because Brad pulled the coal out and read, "Cool, Santa's Coal Bubble Gum. I got bubble gum!" And was not the slightest bit disappointed!
Launching into more presents!
Opening the family gift...we really enjoyed watching them do this part!
Holy Cow- it's a Wii!
Papa showing Brad how to bowl on the Wii- look at the nice form!
Hmmm...interesting form, but he got a Spare!
On the way home, we got to see this AMAZING rainbow. It was the brightest one I've ever seen. Very fitting for a Christmas blessing.
How is it that one simple activity can sometimes hold monumental significance? Is every activity as significant, and we just miss it 99% of the time? Or do those certain activities only come around once and a while? Which then bears the question, how do we make sure we don’t miss those times?
I don’t have any answers to those questions, and as far as I know- the only person who would is God himself. In the meantime, I do know that I have had moments when I recognize the significance of certain activities; when it means so much more than what it appears to be on the surface.
Those times generally reveal more to me about who I really am and what my character really is. And let’s be honest- most of the time, it isn’t very pretty. But it is real. Real problems that need real attention. So I begin by thanking God that He allowed me to recognize the moment and I pray that He will change me.
Recently, I had one of those moments. It happened while participating in a diversity training at my job. Each of us lined up along two sides of a piece of yarn strung through the hallway. We faced our “teammate” as instructed. The coach told us that our goal was to get both of us on the same side of the yarn line. We could plead, cajole, convince, wheedle, etc., but we could not use physical force.
The game began and I immediately began trying to convince my teammate to join me on my side. “We’ll win and be first,” I said. “Do it for me,”was my next attempt. In the end, when time was called- we were still on opposite sides of the line. The coach then asked if anyone had offered to cross the line themselves and join their teammate. I felt like someone had slapped me in the back of the head.
God showed up and spoke to me in that moment.
“I crossed the line for you. That’s what I’m asking you to do for others. If you had looked beyond yourself and beyond ‘winning,’ you could have offered to cross the line.”
As if that wasn’t enough to bring me to my knees, the coach then says, “Would it have made any difference if I had told you that your teammate needed you on their side? Would you have offered to cross the line more quickly?”
I’d like to say I immediately answered ‘Absolutely.’ Especially given that my teammate is in reality one of my absolute best friends. But I hesitated. I wavered. I am ashamed to admit it, but I was not convinced that I would have offered to cross the line even then. I might have been more concerned about my needs. Because, see, the rule said I needed her, too. So she should have offered to join me.
God again began whispering,
“But Stephanie, if you had crossed the line to her, both of your needs would have been filled. You would have had each other.”
Wow. One simple game designed to improve communication in a workplace. God took it and made it so much more. And I am grateful that I didn’t miss it.
So, as 2008 approaches its end, I decided to attempt to catch myself up on here and maybe do a better job of updating in 2009. We'll just have to wait and see! Anyway, one thing I REALLY wanted to post about was a trip my friends (Alicia and Lauren) and I took to Wild Adventures in October. Without the benefit of pictures, it may not do it justice, but here are some snippets of conversations from that trip. Which was in fact to make it INTO the theme park, which we never did achieve. They were closed. Because it was raining. After we had called to check. Boo. Anyway, we had a blast without the park!
Prior to leaving for the trip, our boss informs us that she'd like us to be safe so we don't go off the road, flip over, and land in a stream. As if going off the road weren't bad enough, she had to add the stream.
We hydroplaned down a back road. With a river. Listened to castrating crowns (aka- Casting Crowns to those who can read...). Stopped to buy scratch-off tickets because we had to use the bathroom and felt bad not buying anything at the gas station. Alicia wanted a Christmas one. Lauren almost had a meltdown. We go to Chili's to eat dinner and think we see Hurley from Lost. We were wrong- it was a woman. Alicia tries to go to the bathroom and walks into the kitchen at the restaurant. Once she makes it to the bathroom, it is dimly lit and she thinks to herself- what if I looked in the mirror and said Bloody Mary three times? In walks a woman and small child. Alicia stifles a scream and returns to our table laughing hysterically. Ten minutes later we finally heard the story.
Other random quotes: "I look like I'm wearing a wig!" "I might have to unbutton my pants when I get back in the car." As we pull up in front of a closed Wild Adventures..."Wait, it's closed? What? Where do we get in? NOOOOO!" "And we spent 50 dollars on rain gear!" "What? 50 dollars on reindeer?" Um, no... "I'm a fast pee-er." "I didn't know there was such a thing. I only pee at one speed."
And my favorite conversation: As we drive along talking about what to name the GPS system in the car (after calling her 'Sophie' for three hours)..."What about Abby? or Maggie?" "How about Barbara- no, I can't call it that- I'd end up calling it Babs." Ding (sound from the GPS) "That reminds me of Wal-Mart." "Bird, bird, bird!" Thump. "Oh no, we hit an owl!" "Tongs-tongs-tongs. That's a funny word. Hey, how about naming it Tongya?"
Who says you need something or someone to entertain you? All we had was three friends, a long car ride, and laughter that burned about 1000 calories. Just call us resourceful.
So, we had to take this survey thing for work and we got the results today. I was classified as a "Conductor." What are the descriptors of this, you ask? Competitive, confrontational, direct, results-oriented, sense of urgency, change agent. 14 of the other 15 people that took it fell somewhere in the range of Coordinator, Supporter, Relater. Their descriptions? product-oriented, self-disciplined, accommodating, dislikes confrontation, persistent, controls emotions, adaptable, good listener, good supporter, team player, persistent cooperative, sensitive to others' feelings. Can you say polar opposites? Thoughts from the peanut gallery on how accurate my descriptors were? (and be nice- honest, but nice!)
So while we were in Key Largo, we of course ate at several restaurants and had a wide array of fish options. I, however, did not begin enjoying any type of seafood until I was well into my college years. So, to give myself credit, I do have a limited frame of reference here. Anyway- we are sitting at this restaurant Wednesday night and I order a salad and Lauren orders a Mahi Mahi sandwich. She convinces me that I have to try this (because I've never had it before) and I'm little unsure, but I figure- what the heck. I eat it and enjoy it. Skip to the following evening, where we are at awesome little beachside restaurant:
I open the menu and immediately see the sandwich section, so I begin to peruse. All of a sudden, much to my horror, I see the option of a 'Dolphin' sandwich. I look frantically to Lauren and say- "People really eat dolphin?" To which she calmly responds, "Yes, that's what Mahi is- you ate it last night." Folks- when I tell you I was alarmed, that is an understatement. I practically scream, "You're telling me I ate FLIPPER?" At which point Lauren begins laughing and assures me that Mahi is a dolphin fish, not a porpoise. And to make me feel even better, she assures me that dolphin fish are indeed 'ugly.' So after dinner, we go into the connected store, and we find the facts that allow me to sleep at night.
To the Florida keys! That is where I currently am at a work conference with my good friend Lauren. After some interesting travel getting down here, and a surprisingly not-as-nice-as-they-bill-themselves hotel, we have in fact been enjoying ourselves. We've been on a glass bottom boat tour of the coral reefs, laid out at the pool, shopped a little, ate at fun restaurants, and sat through three half-days of conference. So last night, our cable in our room goes out. Still out today after 3 calls to the front desk, and they say they'll call engineering. Enter the guy we'll affectionately call 'Bojangles.' He tries his hardest to fix it and get us a new remote, and we currently have fuzzy basic cable. He really was very nice, just not my picture ideal of 'engineering.' Anyway, so Lauren actually took pictures with me this year and didn't wear a bathing suit cover-up. And she witnessed me consume alcohol. In Lauren's words (said with a sly smile and a twinkle in her eye), 'we've really thrown caution to the wind!' To which I reply, 'wow, if this throwing caution to the wind...how boring are we?' Followed by hysterical, gut-busting laughter, which has typically occurred at least once a day so far. Definitely making memories! Pictures will come later!
Vulnerability creates intimacy. My cry is for an intimacy first with God and then with other people. It sounds simplistic to state it in words, but the process is so much more involved. There was a point in the past where I came to the realization that I was living in a 'bubble' of sorts. One where I was content to float and bounce along, watching the lives of others. I was safe and protected- my bubble hadn't been busted. Then, I started wanting more...I didn't want the pain and hurt of being out of my bubble, where situations and circumstances and people could wound me...but I wanted joy. You see, life in my bubble was a way of protecting myself from pain, but it also resulted in insulating me from feeling any sort of emotion. I smiled emptily and I encouraged half-heartedly. My heart was not engaged in life. Thank goodness for a timely message that led me to burst my own bubble. I've become willing to accept the moments of pain and heartache because with it comes the ability to choose joy. God has given us innumerable gifts- the greatest of which was His son. Jesus epitomized vulnerability for the sake of gaining intimacy with us. With me. Wow.
Vulnerability:
1. capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt, as by a weapon
2.
open to moral attack, criticism, temptation, etc.
3.
(of a place) open to assault; difficult to defend
Intimacy: 1. a close association with or detailed knowledge or deep understanding 2. a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship
I have been reminded lately in several ways of the power of words- in every form. Words can destroy and words can create. They truly have the power of life and death. I am so grateful that people in my life have chosen to use their words to encourage my life. I am touched that people invest in me. My love languages are absolutely without a doubt- 1. Physical touch- boy, do I love me some hugs! 2. Words of Affirmation. So, it probably goes without saying, but my love tank sure is pretty full right now!
